As I write, it’s the eve of Halloween.
Honestly, I would love for this particular holiday to just dissipate into nothingness so I don’t have to deal with the angst of navigating it as a Christian mom. Then we could just skip ahead to being thankful– the easiest of the big hitting holidays to explain to my little boy. As I shared my frustration about Halloween with my husband, my eight year old son says to me, “Well, we celebrate Jesus’ birthday; might as well celebrate the devil’s.”
Crap. And the bad parent award goes to…
Despite my struggle with the history of Halloween, one thing I do love is the costumes. Princesses, ninjas, and superheroes make me smile. Kids getting a night to step into an identity that makes them feel confident, beautiful, funny, brave etc. I mean, what is cuter than a three year old masked Avenger taking on all the bad guys?
Masks are a big part of dress up. Some use caked on makeup, whilst others have the pullover kind that catches their breath and recirculates it back to them like the recycle air feature on a car. Either way the mask unleashes the inhibitions and allows the person to immerse themselves into their character. These fully immersed trick or treaters are my favorite. I have no idea what they are like on the reg, but for now… they ARE Hulk. To be honest, I like it this way. No guesses, no sorting through the layers or the like of various personality put-ons. A princess pirate is a princess pirate; plain and simple face value.
We all tend to wear masks. One for work. One for parenting. Church mask. Sport mask. Friend mask. Perfect spouse mask. The list goes on.
Masks on masks on masks.
It might surprise you though that t I don’t think putting on a mask is altogether wrong. On the topic of pretense in church, I have heard a number of pastors use the example of parents fighting with each other, yelling at their kids, then getting out of the car and putting on their “happy face” as they enter the Sunday church gathering. Honest moment– most of us do not want to see a family enter anywhere yelling and crying– especially Sunday morning. Nor do we want our worship interrupted by someone telling you about their sexual issues or rebellious children. Just the same as when we are playing a sport, we’re there primarily to play and not listen to our teammate cry about their grandmother with Alzheimer’s. Worse yet, who wants to hear their dad, pastor or boss tell you their temptations?!
Put on your darn masks people! I don’t want my day ruined, or my image of you destroyed by seeing behind “the curtain!” Frankly, it’s downright messy and unnerving because, admittedly, having certain people in restricted roles on pedestals is comforting and stable. Blurred lines have no place in our compartmentalized worlds. Like, who wants to see their counselor or mentor blubbering on about their how their marriage is struggling? Can’t someone– just one– be stable?
I understand that my above rant may seem cold. It is.
But I wanted to point out the other side of the story. In the “Christian world” (because that is something we unfortunately compartmentalize as well) we often chastise people for wearing masks.
“Be real.”
“Be genuine.”
We encourage it.
But do we really want it?
When someone has the courage to begin to wipe the applied smile from their face or peel the layer of rused courage away to reveal their tears and fears…
Will we be ready?
God wants us to be.
2 Tim. 4:2-5
2 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. 3 For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will reject the truth and chase after myths. 5 But you should keep a clear mind in every situation.
How do we effectively create a place where someone can exhale?
Firstly, God uses our own brokenness for His glory if we allow Him. And so we cut off all glory possibility when we become “wise in [our] own eyes.” We have to resist the urge to craft our own mask and live on the stable truth that it is only through Jesus’ redemption that we can wear our faces and have it reflect the beauty of Jesus’ righteousness.
In other words, our stories all have one very important phrase: “And then Jesus…”
Secondly, don’t gawk at others’ ugliness. The Bible makes it clear that you should turn the mirror on yourself before you look at someone else.
Finally, love as Christ would love. That’s His kid you are talking to.
Friends, there are times when I have to “suck it up, Buttercup” and not expose my heart in front of certain people, wielding wisdom over momentary release. Exhaling isn’t a show for social media. And not everyone is just yet equipped to respond to you with God’s heart. Once, I totally broke down in front of another Christian and revealed a marital issue Jason and I were having; the very next day she said she didn’t want to be friends anymore.
And that story of mine is not too unusual. I have talked to several people who no longer attend a church because they attempted to show their ugly and found further guilt and rejection. On the flipside of the coin, I know several people who left the church, not as peace-makers but as judgment casters, because they saw what was was “behind the curtain” and it did not meet their organizational standards for something like church.
Masks are uncomfortable, restricting, and will ultimately suffocate their wearer. But we like them. It’s not God’s intention for you. He knows you– every hair on your head. And He loves you. His biggest desire for you is for you to know the Truth and let it set you free. (John 8:32) Accept His love. Take off the mask. And live in what’s true. He sees someone worthwhile under there.
Others will too.
