I love this title. Mainly because it so doesn’t sound like me.
It’s both cynical and ironic. Cynical because it’s harping on people’s overabundance of unnecessary thoughts/complaints. Ironic because blogs are notoriously full of people’s sardonic opinions– and this is a blog. Yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that the title ignited a feeling inside of you, or at least got you humming the song in your head (Fa la la la la la la la laaa…. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaah).
Despite what the title implies, I actually love this time of year.
All the changes make me smile.
Being a native Floridian, I never really get out of shorts and flip flops. Popsicles are always on hand. Going to the beach is year-round option. And I keep a year-long tan just by mowing the lawn. Therefore, I relish the opportunities that the winter holidays offer. I get to layer up, listen to new music, decorate like I live in the tundra, and eat foods that (for whatever reason– probably health) we don’t indulge in the rest of the year.
Great fun.
What is not fun: opinion wars.
I love a good discussion. What gets my jingle bells in a twist is the onslaught of deep-seated judgments that erupt from the childhood souls of people during the holiday season. These opinions are emotion driven, like a bus. They plow over other people with no regard for their hearts or situations. (I have a deep-seated opinion on that, don’t I? Ha.)
I want to believe that, most of the time, people listen openly to what others have to say, consider it and move on. But, this seems less common during the season of “good will.” Maybe it’s because we’re more tired than usual; stressed more than normal. Eating more sugar? With less money and more family? For whatever reason, starting at Halloween and continuing to the New Year, people’s bravados are bolstered and their unmitigated thoughts on minor things go unchecked.
“We don’t do Halloween.”
“Well, we believe in candy and imagination.”
“They have their Christmas decorations up and it’s not even Thanksgiving.”
“I hate turkey.”
“I’m not coming unless there’s honeybaked ham.”
“Black Friday is a sign of the end times.”
“Colored lights are better.”
“White lights are classic.”
“That blow up Snoopy in the %$#* neighbor’s yard is obnoxious.”
“We tell our kids the truth.” (Speaking of Santa.)
“We let our kids believe in magic and Jesus.”
“Merry Christmas!”
“Happy Holidays.”
“People should dress up for the Christmas Eve service.”
“Christmas is for time to be at home with the family.”
“Real trees!”
“Fake trees!”
We all have traditions and ways of doing things that are sentimentally important to us. We cling to them for many reasons. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I celebrate that kind of thinking.
However, when our OPINIONS surface on social media, at family gatherings, at work, church or otherwise, and we wield them with more precision than a Jedi master- proudly cutting at other people, which in turn causes them to distance themselves from us, then what use are we to the Kingdom of God?
The Bible doesn’t speak about Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas being celebrated as holidays. But it does say:
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Proverbs 12:10
Who is one another?
Think of all the people we like and with whom we want to spend time. Now, think of allllll the other people. The annoying “next-door” cubicle mate at work, the opinionated high school friend on Facebook, the chatty barista, the owner of the dog that poops in your yard. These are one anothers.
God wants us to go out of our way to honor each and every person. Even if in your mind you say “Newman” when you see them.
It is a great commission– great in message but also range of people with whom we’re given the privilege of reaching. And to enjoy that privilege and not cut ourselves off, we must remain people of great integrity, bolstered in God’s Word. Non-compromising. Yet, able to distinguish between the real truth and our opinions.
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue.
Proverbs 17:27-28
And sharing our opinions doesn’t always stay on the topic of holiday traditions. Conversations can become more personal in nature, especially if hurt feelings or alcohol is in play. It is of great importance that we don’t engage in those conversations with wildcards like those in our hands.
We are always memory-making.
Construct wisely.
Decide if that opinion that is dying to get out is what you REALLY want to mark the moment. After all, we’re given a limited number of them to etch out the story of our lives together.
Honor people who are not present, as well. I would even go as far to include our government in that category. When we are trying to represent Christ, but will go “to the mat” to fight for or against President Trump, then, once again, we find ourselves caring more about expressing our opinion than outdoing one another in showing honor.
Personally, I am making it a goal to work out these scriptures that I included. To not allow myself to get in an opinion war with anyone, but instead honor them, being gracious and kind. This may mean I have to quietly walk away from a conversation, whilst biting my tongue (or filling it with a Christmas cookie). That’s ok. It’s an act of peacemaking, not passivism or apathy. When I choose to control my tongue from burning bridges with others, I am OK with the world not knowing my opinion about that thing at that moment.
I am etching out lines for a more beautiful, more God-redeemed story– with everyone.
The problem definitely isn’t sharing our traditions/opinions, it is sharing those things in an attitude of superiority and judgment. This carries over to many other areas of life. We always need to be mindful of caring/loving a person over actions that differ…not always easy but it is what we are to do.