“Back in the olden days, when I used to watch TV by candlelight. . .” This is how my mom started all her stories. And while my mom would say we– her kids– enjoyed much more “technology” than she ever knew growing up, we still did not get to enjoy the modern convenience or satisfaction of instantly getting information.
We had to wait.
We mailed letters that took a week or two to get to whomever, then we had to wait a week or two for the response. Phone calls took forever just to dial, especially if the number had higher numbers, then you would hear it ring and ring, often picked up by children who would set the phone down and forget that you rang. Lab results were the worst. I think people died just waiting. These are the olden days I don’t miss.
So, I love the instant gratification born out of having phones/computers in our pockets. No need for a trip to the library, looking through the Dewey Decimal system, hunting for a book, just to know why a giraffe’s tongue is purple.
However, the ellipsis…
To me, it has become the modern day torture device.
In case you are not familiar with the terminology, in speaking of cell phone communication, ellipses are the three ghosting dots that show up on the bottom of a text when you are waiting for a reply. These three dots play with my emotions.
First, I get so excited when they pop up immediately. Yay, a response is coming! Plan confirmations are happening, answers to inquiries are about to appear, affections returned, etc. Next, I get antsy if I see nothing. Obviously, a little patience and grace is required. Still hard though; I am used to the instant gratification now. The worst is when the dots pop up, then disappear. Pure torture. Particularly after you have made some kind of emotional leap shared via text (like a genius).
Which leads to my editor/one-of-my-best-friend’s favorite stories of mine.
One gorgeous afternoon when Jason and I were seriously dating, we decided to go for a canoe ride. Very romantic. Once past the strenuous paddling against the current, I stopped paddling and leaned against his legs and enjoyed our surroundings. Perhaps it was the environment, or the sense of peace, but for whatever reason I decided right then would be the perfect time to make my feelings known to him. Without looking at him, in a calm tender voice, I declared, “ I think I am falling for you.”
Ellipsis …
No response. Nothing. Nada.
Seriously, all I heard during the awkward trip back was the swish swish of paddling and the ever so loud, no longer calming, sounds of nature. The silence was deafening. Just the
proverbial ghosting dots hanging over our heads.
Waiting for answers is hard.
In the above example, I had a clear expectation of how he was going to respond, and so although still taking an emotional risk, I felt it was relatively safe. I was totally wrong, but given the same circumstance I probably would do it again. Within the same week, he told me he loved me. Suffice to say, I let that declaration hang in the air for a bit before I responded.
Another torturous lack of response happened a while ago. I was helping a friend physically change her life around, but was not attuned to the fact that she had to emotionally do the same. I was taken aback by the tension that was in the room when we were together. So, one day she sent me a text that said…
”We need to talk.”
Worst sentence ever.
My imagination went wild. What did I do? Was this the end of our friendship? Dang it. I just helped her and this is how she repays me? Is she ok? She better not be dying.
Lordy, my brain needs a governor.
I did try to call and text. I few times I saw the ellipsis. Mixed feelings on what was coming next. But, then they would disappear. She obviously had something to say, but couldn’t. Four days went by. When we finally talked she explained she had just hit a wall– shut down. It was a lesson learned for both of us.
Waiting is not fun. The unknown is daunting at times. Resting and not trying to force others or yourself to respond to situations is darn near impossible (at least for me).
“Without knowledge and trust, we simply won’t wait– at least not without a great deal of anxiety– and usually not without taking matters into our own hands.” Bible.org
I want to encourage us all to take a step back and, through biblical strengthening, learn what it is to wait on the Lord first. Resist the temptation that demands all information to be at your fingertips when you desire. This means giving people (and yourself) space to respond and not react. Not only to people, but to Jesus Himself. You may see the ellipsis in your mind as you are praying. You know He is there, hearing you, but no response is happening.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another.
Ephesians 4:2
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:fret not thyself ….
Psalm 37:7
